13 Reasons Why Abortion
is Not Murder

The abortion question is an outward issue of an inward problem for both church and science. On the outside, we see cells dividing up into tissues and organs. Everyone calls that “life.” Yet identical twins on the outside are unique individual persons on the inside. The more specific question we need to be asking is, “What is consciousness exactly?” What is this observer, feeler, experiencer, thinker- inhabiting this hairless monkey skin suit?  Where does consciousness come from, and where does it go? 

In 2016 the Church told me, “We don’t agree with Trump’s morals. But, we’ve GOT to get control of the Supreme Court and overturn Roe v. Wade.” It doesn’t matter how vile or corrupt a presidential candidate may be, voting “pro-life” absolves everything and pales in comparison to the murdering of babies. Many have said the 2024 election is “The Abortion Election.” Pastors, priests and pundits insist that “Life begins at conception,” without defining the full spectrum of what conception actually entails. With the rise of Artificial Intelligence, even atheists must ponder what makes a human different than a computer. With quantum computing, it’s only a matter of time that “artificial” intelligence will become self-aware and sentient with a will of it’s own. Then will it be real intelligence? 

Soon, both church and science will realize they each have half of the puzzle pieces to existence. We just needed to reverse our perspective from either or, to both and. 

From outside in, to inside out. 

Life Takes on Different Forms on Multiple Levels

“Life begins at Conception” is like saying an automobile is conceived on the assembly line. Long before materials are chosen, the Engineer must first conceive of an idea to be built, and draw out specifications. Only then can the assembly line bring their idea “to life.” The root word of conception is concept, and all concepts must originate in MIND. Conception happens far before fertilization. Fertilization is a specific event within the unfolding process of the entire concept. But most use the word conception to just mean fertilization itself, so I will use them interchangeably.

Conception is complete when the automobile rolls fresh out of the factory and a Driver steps in. The Driver of the vehicle is greater than the sum of its parts. A Driver adds new quality to that which is driven. Twins have identical vehicles but are entirely unique drivers.

Life is a matter of perspective. On the surface we see interstate billboards portraying a 4-month old chubby cherub with sparkling blue eyes, declaring “It’s a Child, Not a Choice!” It is very misleading and disingenuous to suggest a 4-month old child is being terminated because a mother gives up. But I get it…suggesting the murder of a living child is very effective at deeply inflaming emotions. Some to the point of bombing Planned Parenthood and murdering doctors. 

I first learned of abortion in the fifth grade, carpooling home from Christian school with another student’s mom. She said to be on the lookout for an abortion doctor who drives a black Mercedes with tinted windows and this license plate. I asked what is abortion, and she said “Oh it’s when a woman doesn’t want to keep her baby and they hook her up to a machine that shreds and sucks out the baby.” If I can find this vehicle, she’ll give me $100, because “we’re gonna finally get this guy.” 

Since abortion is such an emotional trigger, we need to rationally consider all levels of perspective and measurement of life. 

When I shake your hand, I feel your skin. What is skin made of? Zoom in and we see skin cells! But you’re not actually feeling a skin cell itself. Zoom in deeper past the cells and you’ll be pressing up against another’s electrical field, like an invisible fence to keep your dog in your yard. The pressure you feel when shaking my hand…that’s my electron orbit pressing the field into your electron orbit field. At this point, we do not see nor feel the skin cells above, only electromagnetism. Continue zooming in and we’ll see the atomic level. Atoms are 99.999999999999% EMPTY SPACE. Skin>cells>electric field>atoms. Dig deeper past the atom and you have the unified quantum field of every possibility that could exist for that particle. Nothing is set in stone, it is all “uncertain” according to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. There is no fate, only Destiny. When an observer measures, or “looks” at a potentiality, the waveform of all potentials collapse and forms a particle. That particle can be “entangled” with another version of itself on the other side of the galaxy. When you rotate the atom one direction, the other version of itself spins the other way. Everything is connected. There is no such thing as empty space.

A baby seems separate from everything, but at it’s core, it is always connected to The ONE. When a person awakens to the realization that the outer physical world is just an illusion, there is great salvation and emancipation within. I AM not separate, alone or disconnected, but integral to All That Is. The ALL is the ONE, and the ONE is the ALL. Everything comes from the ONE and returns to the ONE.

Artwork by Walter Russell

Each and every one of us are a drop in the ocean of a self-aware universe of Being. Consciousness is Prime Creator, of which all species are branches of. Consciousness creates creation, not the other way around. The vehicle does not create the driver.  The Driver pilots the vehicle that will wear out and die someday.  The Driver steps out of the old vehicle and into a new one. 

A baby body is an electromagnetic, holographic light vehicle- driven by instincts at first. Early on, a baby sees this blurry pink blob moving in front of its eyes all the time. Eventually, something “clicks” and it realizes that it’s their arm, and they can practice taking control of it! Consciousness begins to operate the vehicle with its will. Can you wiggle your ears? My brain could never connect with those muscles until I started wearing glasses.

Abortion must be discerned between the physical and non-physical. “But the natural man does not understand that which is spiritual (unseen)...they are spiritually discerned” (1 Corinthians 2:14). Our “natural” mind- the logical reasoning three-dimensional mind, is limited to the physical five senses. But “spirit” is unseen. Palpable, but non-physical. All of the body’s thirty trillion cells will be shed and replaced every seven years. You’re not even in the same body that you used to have, yet your mind hasn’t been shed along with the dead cells. If fertilization cells create consciousness, no one would live past seven years old because those original fertilization cells are dead and gone. Church orthodoxy keeps us addicted to worshiping the outside movie screen, the world of matter and form, because our five senses are focused on survival. We want a physical Bible to hold and see. We want to see a physical Jesus returning in the sky. We want physical buildings to worship in. We want a physical heaven with real gold crowns. 

Seeing with spiritual eyes requires the Third Eye pineal gland, your wonderful human imagination. It has photoreceptors on it, to sense and perceive other frequencies that our naked eye cannot see. Ancient mystery schools taught that the third eye pineal gland is the seat of the soul. That’s why we close our eyes when we pray deepest. God is behind the eyelids.

When someone’s dead, there is no Observer in the eyes. Even if the body is alive but brain dead or comatose, there’s no one home. They are a vegetable. You can’t put your finger on consciousness, but you know it when you see it. When you’re stopped at a red light, you can sense when someone in the other lane is looking at you. Even if they are out of your periphery, you can sense the sudden urge to look back. Look deeply into a loved one’s eyes in dim light, so your pupils dilate. Feel the flow from the blackened caverns into your eyes, feel the energy you can’t see. That’s the essence of consciousness, the source and first cause of physical creation. 

Consciousness has a name, we all use it every day…

I AM Cannot Be Created or Destroyed

We’ve discerned between the physical realm (creation) and it’s opposite, consciousness. My mother did not like that word- consciousness- “it’s too new-agey!!” I tried to find a word she was comfortable with. “Mom, what term would you give that part of you that will continue after death?” I asked. “Well, I guess it’d be my soul.” Okay, call it your soul, your spirit, your awareness of being, whatever you want. But there is a far superior title that will unleash immense creator power within you, religious or not. 

The common thread throughout the Bible is this phrase called I AM. It is a statement of existence. I exist, and I know I exist. 

“Before Abraham, before the WORLD was…I AM.

I AM the Alpha and Omega. 

I AM the vine, YE are the branches (of I AM).

I AM (is) the way, the truth and the life.”

Moses looked into the burning bush and God said, “I am that→→ I AM.” 

(Moses, you are also I AM!)

Consciousness is I AM, which is LORD over ALL.  I Am is a statement of knowing one exists. I AM is the Singularity, the Prime ONE. Your I-magin-ation (“to picture oneself”) is the source of all physical matter. I AM cannot be created or destroyed, only compartmentalized. Can you imagine non-existence? “I’m blacked out, in the void, no awareness.” The qualities of that non-existence experience still requires existence.

In a movie theater you need dark and light. The lightbulb of the projector is I AM, the film strip is your imagination, the screen is the flicker of atoms creating the illusion of motion. Life starts inside out, then reflected back from the outside as a mirror. How can your eyeball see itself without a mirror? 

Artwork by Walter Russell

You are the Dreamer, not the dream. You are the Driver, not that which was driven. You are the Thinker, not the thought. You are the Feeler, not the feelings. You are the Observer, not the observed. You are the Experiencer, not the experienced. Both are connected but complete opposite in nature: antimatter and matter.

Conception Does Not Create Consciousness 

Does conception/fertilization create consciousness, or is it the other way around? Interestingly, both church and science agree on the same thing: fertilization seemingly and assumingly creates the start of consciousness. The Church says when a sperm penetrates the egg, immediately there is an eternal byproduct created or emitted from those cells- the creation of a self-aware, sentient being that will now be conscious forever. However science says when the body dies, their consciousness dies along with the cells that created it, blacked out forever. Both assume the same kickstart of consciousness, but different destinies. 

Let’s say a woman uses a mifepristone pill after a condom failed. The Church says that newly created zygote/unconscious eternal soul teleports up to heaven, a 1500-mile wide golden cube floating out in orbit somewhere (Revelation 15). Having no memory, this being suddenly wakes up, looks around, wondering where they are, who they are and why. Again, this eternal soul never existed before so it has no memory. Yet this blob of cells a second ago can suddenly communicate in perfect English, in heaven, having never learned or spoken it. 

Worst of all, God is angry and furious that someone on earth used their free will against HIS wishes, and He has to explain to the soul: “Doggonit I’m so sorry your blob of cells didn’t continue. Here’s the life you *could* have had if those humans would have obeyed my popes and pastors and forced everyone to be born!” 

Here is where science is logically consistent: If the division of cells is the source cause creating your observer/thinker/feeler/soul, then when those cells DIE so will your soul awareness along with it. All of the abortion arguments on both sides boil down to this one most important question: Does fertilization create a brand new conscious soul that never existed before? If cells dividing creates consciousness, it will die along with the cells that died…because cells were the fluke cause of billiard-ball consciousness. There is no life (awareness) after death, just annihilation as atheists conclude. Christians, there is no way to have your cake and eat it too.  If conception creates consciousness, your soul will die forever when your body dies. 

This is why Christianity must answer these questions of consciousness to make any moral justification to force birth upon everyone. Anyone who has questioned their pastors and preachers with hard questions find they usually get dismissed “as mystery” or “someday in heaven all will be explained.”

If conception creates a new conscious soul that never existed, then abortionists are the world’s greatest evangelists. Why risk burning in hell forever? Better to never be born and wake up in the presence of God. Why risk seventy years as a human who might reject salvation compared to an eternity in hell? Why risk being born into a “false religion?” Abortionists are doing God a huge favor. If a literal eternal hell is true, we might as well nuke the earth and stop creating souls altogether. But the topic of hell is another chapter for another day.

What about the quadrillions of tiny minutia moments before conception…when a man and woman are dating, dancing, considering if the other will be a good match to mate with. Does not conception entirely depend on the wildly unpredictable choices of a man and woman? Fertilization may or may not happen. Is it “unfair” to all the unborn souls not getting a “chance at life” when man and woman were sooooo close to having sex? Or the man’s sperm just couldn’t make the full trip? Is that unfair to the egg and sperm who almost became a zygote soul? What if sperm penetrated the cytoplasm but failed to divide? Fertilization takes a full 24 hours to complete. What if a failure happens in the 23rd hour…was that soul killed?

These are the many contradictory conundrums with assuming fertilization creates consciousness.  Using Occam’s razor, the simplest explanation is usually the correct one- consciousness always exists. Consciousness is the unpredictable universal force that precedes the grand conception and fertilization.

The Bible is (Mostly) Silent on Abortion

If an All Knowing All Powerful Entity was so angry at fertilized cells not growing to term, why didn’t he make this of utmost importance in his inerrant canon? Every book and every chapter should reiterate “And the LORD saith, ‘ABORTION IS MURDER JUST IN CASE THERE’S ANY CONFUSION!” Jesus would have screamed from the hilltops, “ABORTION IS MURDER! Oh, and don’t forget to love one another.” In all of the Old Testament’s 614 laws, most of which are laughably ridiculous, nowhere does it state unequivocally and indisputably that terminating a pregnancy is murder. What we find is the opposite.

Numbers 5:27- “May this water that brings a curse enter your body so that your abdomen swells or your womb miscarries.” If a woman is unfaithful, even if the husband is suspicious of her, the priest will force her to drink an herbal (chemical) abortion to miscarry. If she’s innocent, God will protect the fetus from aborting. God permits abortion because a husband is jealous.

Exodus 21:22:  “When men who are fighting injure a pregnant woman so that there is a miscarriage and yet no further harm follows, the one responsible shall be fined, paying as much as the judge decides. But if any harm follows, then you shall give life for life…” 

If a fetus dies from a fight, no murder charges. No public stoning to death. Only remuneration for the financial loss of that asset, as the judge determines. However, if the woman dies from men fighting, then that harm shall be paid for equally life for life. Yet today’s Christian politicians are legislating for the opposite of their precious scriptures: death penalty for doctors and women, and prison for those who drive someone to get an abortion out of state. 

Christian politicians do not care about truth and fairness, or Biblical accuracy. They just crave the power to punish with a charade of laws to please their disgusting god of lies, fear, and punishment. They worship a god of war who has no problem slaughtering live babies and children. There are at least fifteen examples where God commands Israelites to do it, or He does it Himself. This is one of many reasons why Jesus cursed the Old Testament gods of fear and punishment. Addressing the Sanhedrin, “You know not my Father…you are of your father the devil, the father of lies.” Jesus wanted nothing to do with the perverted gods of Israel. The Old Testament “God” is NOT Jesus’ heavenly Father. God is the essence of Creator consciousness, not an entity barking down commands through chosen people, prophets and scriptures. Jesus blasphemed the unthinkable by declaring he and his Father of Consciousness to be ONE.

The Bible Clearly Tells Us When Life Begins

In the beginning, God created man out of dust…a clump of carbon arranged as cells, tissues, and organs. Inanimate material. “Then God breathed into man the BREATH of LIFE, and man became a living soul.” An inanimate body is claimed by breath, and begins to power the Observing Soul living within. Conception creates body, Consciousness claims it. The Engineer conceived of a vehicle and a driver steps in. Somehow these scriptures are conveniently overlooked by theocrats who act like they have irrefutable proof that consciousness begins at fertilization. If I could rent an interstate billboard it’d say, “Life Begins at Breath, NOT Fertilization! Genesis 2:7”. The Hebrew word for “spirit” is ruach, which used to reference “air, wind, breath, spirit.” 

Life, breath, and soul are are intertwined. 

The life of the body is an extension from the source of life.

Artwork by Walter Russell

Inhalation and exhalation is the Cosmic Pendulum of all life and motion. During pregnancy, the I AM consciousness can observe or inhabit the fetus as it desires, like browsing on the showroom floor at an auto dealership. But once the body is birthed and water removed from its lungs, it must take ownership of the vehicle. It must rev the engine by crying…sucking in oxygen mixing with the fuel of mother’s milk. Now, the I AM is officially in the driver’s seat as a “living soul.” When you’re swimming in the pool and have a contest with your friends to see who can hold their breath the longest underwater… you feel like your lungs are going to explode. You must come up for air or you’re dead. Right now, try to kill yourself by holding your breath. You can’t do it, no matter how much you want to die. That’s how strongly your I AM is holding onto your body. 

My son was born c-section, so he didn’t get the fluid squeezed out of his lungs and couldn’t breathe. His arms were scrunched up to his chest, bottom lip pursed out, skin all deep purple. The nurse came over with a tiny oxygen mask, put it to his nose, and slowly his skin turned to a warm pink. “Abortion stops a beating heart!!” Doesn’t matter. My son HAD a beating heart…it’s useless without the breath of life.

In the Bible when someone dies it says they “give up the ghost.” Consciousness is the unseen ghost that surrenders the body and stops pushing the pendulum of inhalation/exhalation. Those who practice meditation close their eyes and “observe their breath.” When your mind is full of anxious thoughts, meditation returns your attention back to your breath. This is how Buddhist monks experience new heights of consciousness, by simply being with their breath and letting thoughts pass. Modern science is proving the value of meditation to treat anxiety, depression, and many other psycho-spiritual disorders. Breathing gives space between the Thinker and the thought. Breath is the pathway back to the I AM singularity.

God Aborts Fertilized Eggs By the Millions Every Day

When I was engaged to be married, I was having coffee with one of my wife’s best friends who had been married for about a year.  The subject of birth control came up, and explained they were using the “rhythm method” and a barrier method as backup. I heard that an IUD was a non-hormonal method with 99% efficiency. My wife’s friend expressed concern that a fertilized egg is being discharged deliberately every month. The implication being that, we are aborting a child that could have been physically, but now has an eternal conscious soul that “missed out on life.” We would be aborting a soul every month, who wakes up in heaven instead of earth. Because I was pro-life at the time, my wife and I tried the rhythm method and next month she was pregnant with our daughter. In other words, it doesn’t work!

Later I learned that fertilized eggs do not always implant on the uterine wall. Many are discharged naturally. Some eggs implant, grow, but then dislodge and are miscarried. Nature is volatile, and does not guarantee that fertilization will complete a full term breathing baby. My mom had a miscarriage, an ectopic pregnancy that almost killed her, and then a stillborn. Out of the blue, Mom has a sharp pain in her abdomen, so painful she has to go to ER. Doctors put her under from the pain and realize her abdomen is filled with blood. They drained it, fetus removed, mom survives. Years later mom is pregnant again, right up to the delivery day everything was fine. Nurse is hooking mom up to the monitors, and performs a routine ultrasound. Nothing. No heartbeat. Fetus is removed or it will go septic and kill my mom. Pregnancy is risky, deadly business. Keeping mothers alive with abortion is healthcare, plain and simple. 

I know what you’re thinking- all my dead brothers and sisters happened naturally, not electively. It’s different when GOD decides to abort a fetus. He’s God, he has a perfect “will” that we need to trust. The Church is full of “Do as God says, not as He does.” Why then, would God entrust the creation of an eternal soul to the fragility of cells dividing in a womb? What if a pregnant woman is tossed off her horse and miscarries? Was that God’s specific choice to abort at that moment? Wouldn’t an all-knowing God see that mammalian live birth is so much more dangerous than laying eggs? Why not make us like the reptiles who lay eggs and don’t have sex? This way he won’t be angry with all the extra marital sex AND fertilized eggs will grow to term! 

This is the absurdity of an all powerful God who abdicates new soul creation to the volatility of live birth. He explains nothing about the sanctity of fertilization in his scriptures, but then gets so angry that new uncreated souls are missing the boat. If fertilization alone creates consciousness, then God is not all powerful nor wise. 

Memory is Not a Requirement for Consciousness

“I didn’t mind being dead before I was born, I won’t mind being dead after” said a famous comedian. There is a shared assumption from both Christians and atheists that your consciousness is a random byproduct of cells dividing. Consciousness is a fluke byproduct of random chaos from billiard ball chemicals, and never existed before. Both sides conclude that lack of memories before four years of age is rock solid proof that they never existed before. “I don’t remember being born so I never existed.” Do you remember your first solid food? Your first steps? Do you remember saying your first words? No, but it happened because you have evidence today.

Consciousness doesn’t require your brain to remember it being conscious. A baby is constantly making memories as it learns, yet you have no visual remembrance of learning how to grab objects. Your one year old self was not thinking, “I need to visually remember this moment of existence for the future when I question whether I was existing at this moment. I need to lock this in my brain.” Memory is a fickle mechanism. One can be entirely conscious and “lose their train of thought. Sorry, I forgot what I was going to say.” I know I was conscious during Algebra II because I have a report card, but I remember nothing from that class to this day. Do you remember what you had for lunch two weeks ago? No, but you know you were fed at the time because you’re not dead from starvation. Memories are created in the present, but assigned to the past, as we create “time” to exist. Clearly, consciousness does not require memories of it being conscious to prove it was conscious.

When an actor steps on stage, they deliberately forget who they are, so that they can channel their interpretation of a character. When a virtuoso plays their instrument, they often close their eyes to block distractions and focus inward. In the same way, when consciousness incarnates and breathes in the breath of life, there is selective amnesia, so as to focus on this life here and now. Past life memories of being slowly eaten alive by a pack of wolves is not helpful to living this life, so it is blocked. But that which is blocked can be unblocked with intention. The brain is an antenna, not a storage bin. Memories are stored in the quantum cloud, accessible anywhere in the universe. Through deep hypnosis, meditation, or psychedelic guides, memories of past lives can come flooding back vividly. Past lives is a misnomer. They are parallel, concurrent lives, like film reels in storage. That which was forgotten can be remembered when the antenna is turned on and channel surfing.

The brain is an antenna for consciousness, not the creator of it. Deep inside the brain there is an electrical storm flashing amongst the neurons, sending and receiving. Neurons can actually move to new locations to pick up new information, just like moving the telescopic antenna on an old TV or radio to get a stronger signal. Neurology still cannot locate the source of consciousness within the brain. Waking beta wave consciousness can be blocked with anesthesia, but not generated. It’s like breaking apart a TV set, looking inside, hoping to see the newsroom and anchors. Recently, there was a true story of a man who went into for an MRI following an injury, only to find that he has lived his entire normal life with 10% of his brain!  Ninety percent of his physical brain was gone, leaving an empty skull.  If consciousness resides or is created in the brain, this man (and others with brain damage) would no longer be self-aware and sentient. 

Consciousness precedes memory, not the other way around. 

Consciousness Outside the Body is Proven Fact and a Reproducible Experience

In 2007, a huge discovery was made in the field of resuscitation. If a person is unconscious and not breathing, the accepted practice was for first responders to put on a mask and deliver oxygen as quickly as possible to prevent brain damage. Yet so many patients would die immediately upon receiving the oxygen, which didn’t make sense. Eventually doctors discovered that when the brain is starved of oxygen, it shuts down into “hibernation mode,” where it survives on very little of what is left. Researchers questioned if they should start with a very slow and gradual flow of oxygen, maybe the brain can bring itself out of hibernation and back to normal oxygen levels. It worked, and the result was those who were previously in a state of death where coming back to life. 

Reports from patients poured in, testifying to the extraordinary experience of dying, leaving their body, going towards the light, seeing avatars and meeting with passed relatives. An entirely new field of study had to be opened called “Near Death Experiences” as tens of thousands began to report the same phenomenon in one way or another. Many patients have called it, “Life after Life” because they felt more alive being dead than when they were in their body. Some testify that physical death was so immensely peaceful, joyful, and contented that when they returned to their bodies, they struggled with depression because death was so beautiful compared to life on earth. NDE’s report that death feels so much more alive and real…whereas everyday life in the body feels like a foggy dream. Many who have died on the operating table report floating around the ER, hearing and seeing exactly what the doctors where doing and saying, all while being completely unconscious physically.

The great news is that you don’t have to die to prove that your consciousness outside of the body is testable, measurable and repeatable. You can do it naturally with practice, or take a psychoactive plant journey as guide and teacher.

Whenever you fall asleep, your body goes into sleep paralysis- the locking of your muscles to prevent you from walking around and hurting yourself. Everyone at some point has felt themselves just about to fall asleep but get jolted awake with a spasm. That’s the sweet spot of “mind awake, body asleep.” With intention and practice, you can prepare your reactions to the buzzing stage and let go of your body but not your awareness.  I had it happen four times unexpectedly, when I was so distressed I was tossing and turning all night. My body was exhausted and fell asleep, but my mind would not let go and stayed awake. I felt a blast of electrical chatter in my brain, like all radio channels playing at the same time. My awareness disconnected from it and I felt my attention float down through my chest, as the volume of chatter diminished quickly into pure silence. I knew I wasn’t dreaming, this was my regular waking mind that never dozed off. I then felt my consciousness travel down through my heart, and popped out of my chest. Immediately my mind was awash in a feeling of pure existence, blissful and carefree. I felt exactly like a child on the first day of summer, or opening a birthday present. Not a care in the world, only contented eagerness. In this childlike state I felt myself exclaim, “I wanna see the treeeeeeeessssss!!!” and quickly floated up to the ceiling, hoping to go outside the house.  But I was a novice navigator of my thoughts, and I bumped up against the ceiling. That was as far as I could get. I felt my consciousness slowly float back down through the middle of a DSLR array of lenses, refractions and optics- our holographic universe. I felt like a record needle vibrating in the grooves of a message that was already recorded- “Look into your deepest self” I felt as I settled back into my body. Traditionally this phenomenon is called Astral Projection, which happened to me several more times over the years. For me, this experience was undeniable, irrefutable evidence that my awareness is independent of the body. Consciousness does not need creation to survive, but creation needs consciousness. There are some veteran astral projectors that can go all over the universe, or try to go to Area 51 to see what is inside. Even they are met with an fierce army of blockages and cannot go in.

If you can’t go out of body naturally, the realm of the plant kingdom has been here for eons to guide and assist you. Voluminous material is available to begin a psychoactive journey, too much for this one chapter. As a frustrated 35 year old Christian seeking answers and truth, I doubt I could have broken free from the dominance of the logical mind without cannabis, psilocybin mushrooms, and LSD. For the toughest skeptics, more powerful hallucinogens are available like peyote, San Pedro, ayahuasca, and DMT. 

The goal is not so much out of body as it is awaking to the knowledge of I AM within, peering out through all the various looking glasses.

You’ll struggle to find a single atheist or Christian who has come back from a psychedelic journey and not have a profound new perspective on existence.

The Problem of Twins and Invitro Fertilization

If connecting sperm and egg create a new conscious soul, what happens with identical twins splitting apart 7-12 days later? Did it have a unique consciousness for seven days, then “passed” a piece of that consciousness over to the twin? How can one consciousness split into two completely unique individual beings? What if one child reabsorbs the other twin weeks later? Did that dead twin just teleport to heaven and God’s like, “Oh dang it, sorry, you almost had a life had it not been for you damn sibling!!” What if a fertilized egg fails to implant but would have had a twin weeks later had it stayed implanted? Are two souls in heaven now, even though the twins were both at the single egg stage? This is the logical absurdity with fertilization creating consciousness.

Consider IVF treatments, where multiple eggs are fertilized in the laboratory. Triplets implant, the rest are discharged. Is God angry with these multiple murders just so a childless couple could be parents? No doubt the couple spent many a Wednesday night prayer meetings begging God for a child, who seemed to have said no. Will IVF families be held accountable for murdering the other unborn? 

What if I don’t believe in modern hospital medicine, have a home birth and the infant dies…but would have lived had it been born in the hospital? Did we just murder that baby from refusing the miracle of modern medicine?

Such is the ambiguous absurdity of trying to apply 21st century nano technology to a 5000 year old angry, temperamental God. This is why pregnancy must be a family decision, not a one size fits all law from politicians, pastors, or popes. 

Failed Pregnancies Are Test Drives for Lower Souls Wanting to Ascend

Growing up I heard testimonies from other young people that their mom “almost aborted them.” They almost “didn’t have a life.” Bumper stickers say, “Aren’t you glad your mom chose life?”

Since Consciousness is Everything and the Source Cause of all physical matter, there are billions of souls that are waiting to incarnate. We are like children waiting in line at the carnival.  Consider a younger consciousness, like a primate or family dog, desires to see what it’s like to be human. But it just wants to dip its toe into the water, not jump in with a full lifetime commitment on a very difficult planet like Earth. If the mother is contemplating abortion, then the queue of souls that desire a temporary incarnation are activated. If she suddenly changes her mind last minute to birth it, then the queue of souls desiring a full life are activated. Some babies will live for a few days, a few years then die, and that duration was the choice of the soul before it was born. Nature abhors a vacuum. If fertilization happens there will be a line out the door wanting to incarnate, regardless of how diseased or horrible the family situation. I can’t walk into a car dealership and demand that they give me a car just because it’s waiting for a driver. There must be an mutually equitable agreement for a deal to be made.

I’m sure atheists are laughing at these scenarios, but the more science discovers how time doesn’t exist, time can be reversed, time is relative to the observer, quantum entanglement, matter makes up only 4% of the known universe…could we at least hypothesize that consciousness is an integral part of existence? 

Pro-Life Means Nurturing Life Cradle to Grave, Not Just Forcing Birth

In the 1920´s, the death rate of infants of less than one year in US orphanages was 90-100%. They would develop a condition known as marasmus, an infantile weakness or atrophy. What baffled doctors is that the babies’ bodily needs were fully met- regularly fed and changed, toys to play with, and a warm crib to sleep all they want. Yet slowly they’d lose interest in playing and eating, then becoming ill, only to wither away and die.  Searching for answers, nurses discovered that the more an infant was held, hugged, breastfed, kissed, talked to, sung songs to, visited by relatives…the more they would eat, grow strong, and overcome illnesses and survive. It proved unequivocally that a baby can have all its bodily needs met, but without human affection, love, and attention- there is no point in living. The soul begins to withdraw from the body. Forcing births in a hostile and loveless environment is abortion by attrition. 

When a child’s needs are not met, their mind and heart is slowly being aborted from this world. You can force a couple to be parents, but you can’t force them to be a loving, attentive mom and dad. Environment is EVERYTHING for a developing child. Should the State expect a molested ten year old girl capable of being a parent much less a mom? These forced birth children will be so neglected and abused by their teens they will unleash hell on earth in retribution for all their suffering. Forced births will result in orphanages being overloaded and underfunded. There’s plenty of kids in foster care, where’s the pro-life volunteers ready to take on such an enormous emotional, financial, and time consuming burden? No one will want to adopt forced birth babies. They will wither and die from lack of love and attention.

Many will rebut: “Who are YOU to determine quality of life?! Every child deserves a chance at life no matter the challenges!!” Exactly. It’s not for me to force my perception of the child’s quality of life on the two parents, their situation and capabilities, and their families. The State cannot force their “god” to “work a miracle” when they already have their own faith. We euthanize pets and loved ones who are suffering as an act of mercy (or last will) because a reasonable quality of life is no longer available. They’re “alive” but do not want to depend on machines or medicine. Life is too unpredictable and erratic for a one size fits all law from the State deciding quality of life. Remember the orphan infants that choose to die if they are not held and loved? The bare minimum quality of life must include touch, attention, and loving kindness. If parents and families are not ready for that commitment, why would we use the brunt force of the law to birth a child in a loveless, hostile environment? 

Abortion is an act of mercy, controlling and minimizing hell on earth incarnations before they happen. America must break this curse of children being born into hostile, loveless, broken families. Preventing childhood trauma and PTSD is far more important than an unconscious fetus who agrees to a universe of uncertainty. The State can force births and continue creating hell on earth dysfunctional families, or we can utilize science and technology to create harmonious families where children are loved and celebrated. 

Which is more important, a fetus or family? Parents, doctors, and educators are most qualified to determine viability and quality of life. Theocrats and Judges only know THEIR quality of life, they will never walk a mile in our shoes. My daughter loves kids but never wants to be pregnant. She detests the thought of an “alien” growing inside her. Unborn rights cannot supersede the rights of the Born: your life, your liberty, your pursuit of happiness. It is not a decision for the State, much less Bible banging politicians who think God forgives their adultery and abortion but needs to murder women and doctors as a show of spiritual superiority. 

Forcing births will result in massive healthcare costs for diseased and unviable children. At the same time conservatives aim to dismantle ACA Obamacare and vehemently oppose single-payer Medicare for All. Christians, are you ready to fork over an additional $1,600,000.00 for a single cerebral palsy child? If God can “make a miracle” out of an unwanted child, can He miraculously provide the $1.6 MILLION to keep it alive? And that’s just the medical bills. The emotional and physical demands of special needs children are beyond what one parent or caretaker can handle. Rounds of caretakers and specialized educators are constantly coming and going at the house just so parents don’t collapse from exhaustion. Conservatives are concerned abortion will lead to infanticide. One thing is for sure- if everyone is forced to give birth to diseased or special needs children, most will eventually end up in dumpsters or be abandoned to the state. Parents will fantasize infanticide as a way out. Firstly from exhaustion, second from medical bankruptcy. Some will take out life insurance policies then claim the baby was abducted. 

Christian politicians, are you ready to pick up the tab for all these diseased children? Not from what we’ve seen of your voting record. As soon as money is required for children, you tuck tail and run. Except you have no problem spending millions on courts, judges and prisons to punish women and doctors. In my current state of Tennessee, our Republican supermajority steals $1.8 BILLION, every year of our federal Obamacare expansion money, which forfeits it to other states. Our Bible-believing Christian governor justifies it by “You can’t expect government to solve all your problems, only God can.” Would Jesus yank away $1.8B from the sick every year? No, but Christians love their Old Testament punisher God of hard work more than the mercy of Christ. They want you to pay for the privilege to be alive. No surprise, Tennessee is ranked 44th in the nation for health and infant mortality, as our rural hospitals close up from bankruptcy. 

Right to Life must include all that is need for sustaining life…healthcare, housing, and harvesting the fruits of one’s labor. If you want forced birth, put your money where your mouth is and pass an Economic Bill of Rights. 

Men, Get Ready For Child Support Laws That Make You A Criminal

In all my several dozens of years of church services, Christian school, prayer meetings, daily chapel, Bible classes, church camps, revival meetings, mission trips, and Christian University did anyone inform me about this terrorist organization called Family Law. Apparently the wealthy paid the government to create laws that make single parents criminals for not being able to support their children. Even my “Marriage & Family” class at Christian University failed to mention anything about Family Law. All I was told was to wait until marriage to have sex, then I will be blessed and have nothing to worry about.

This is not Judge Judy or the People’s Court. Family law is CRIMINAL court. If a child is born, both parents will be prosecuted if they do not support it. If you’re a teen or college student, you’ll have to drop out of school and work a minimal wage job with no child care coverage. You have no rights to a living wage, yet if you cannot support your child you are a criminal. It’s your fault for slacking. You will be punished accordingly if you do not adhere to “the formula.” This is an algorithm that calculates Time vs. Income. It’ll cost you a $5000 retainer for a family law attorney to explain all this to you. If you’re a gig worker, a self employed entrepreneur, the court will still calculate your support based on gross income, not adjusted income for expenses. 

Your credit score will suffer simply by having a judgment against you, even if you’re paying on time. Creditors see a child support order as higher risk, so you’ll pay higher interest rates on loans. If you miss payments, it’ll stay on your credit report for seven years, like a bankruptcy unable to be removed, even if you’re paid up in full later. If you have heath issues and no healthcare…arthritic pain, hypertension, sleep apnea, depression, anxiety…it doesn’t matter that you can’t keep up with the rest of society that does have healthcare. Eventually you will be dragged in front of the judge to give account. The law says TEN days in jail for every 30 days in arrear. This is because our capitalist overlords LOVE cracking the whip of hard work. And that’s just the money portion. Your time will be dictated by a court ordered “Parenting Plan” that determines duties and visitation schedule. 

Back to my story…the “rhythm method” was a failure after we stopped the pill at a year and a half into marriage. When I got the pregnancy news I was terrified because I wasn’t financially ready at all. I wanted to build my businesses first then put it on cruise when I was ready to start a family. It’s really easy to get ahead when you have dual incomes living together with no dependents. Suddenly I had to provide for everyone all by myself. If you struggle with money as a single person, wait until you are forced to have children. It’s at least an 18-year commitment financially, even if you’re going to be an absentee parent. 

I love children, but hate the system and will not bring another in willingly. I do not have the blood pressure to do this again for another eighteen years. I will disobey any laws forcing me to be a parent. I’d rather a few years reading in the prison library than another eighteen slaving away at a bare minimal wage job. 

God Never Says Life Begins at Fertilization Because Goat Herders Didn’t Have 20th Century Microbiology Science.  

In the 1660s, Antonie van Leeuwenhoek created the first microscope by polishing a glass ball into a lens. He scooped up a little pond water and put it on a glass slide as a specimen.  To the naked eye, it was clear water.  When magnified two hundred times (200X) closer, Antonie became the first human to peer into a whole new world teeming with microorganisms. The human minds that wrote the Bible could only comprehend what they could see, taste, touch, smell or hear…the naked senses. When it comes to making babies, all they could see was the blood of the woman mixing with the semen of the man. They did not have microscopes to observe sperm penetrating an egg, DNA unzipping, or cells dividing. Yet The Church hijacks this modern technology and fabricates a new political doctrine that doesn’t exist in Scripture. Christianity would not even know about fertilization unless modern science discovered it.

The Church commanders cutting edge ultrasound cameras that show realistic colorized images of the fetus sucking its thumb in the belly. Pro-Life protestors then use the realism of these images to harass and guilt pregnant women coming into Planned Parenthood. In Bible times there was no technology, no knowledge of what’s inside, so no guilt or shame. Like the literal seven day creationists, the Church Establishment tries to bend science to their will when it suits them. It was only after the abandoning of church dogma during the Renaissance that science could discover fertilization. 

The one main Bible verse always shown on the interstate billboards is Psalms 139:14. “Behold, I am fearful and wonderfully made, You knit me together in my mother’s womb…”  King David is poetically expressing his marvel and awe that two fluids can be mixed together like cake batter and somehow a baby is “knitted” together. Is God literally holding needle and thread for every pregnancy around the world at this moment? No, it’s a metaphor because David knew no other way to express what he could not see nor understand. Even if you want to take the verse literally…nothing is being “knitted together.” The opposite is happening- cells are dividing! Surely God could have explained this to David if He was making a literal, timeless, unquestionable commandment about abortion. The Book of Psalms are poetic expressions and songs, not commandments. 

When pastor politicians say, “We believe humans were made in the image of God” they cherry pick two attributes of God and apply it to humans…intelligence and an eternal soul, but that’s it. It’s blasphemous to deduce that if God is creator, and we’re made in that likeness, then we must also be novice Creators. No. Only GOD (some supreme entity in space) is Creator, we are just creation. God is a perfect, loving, benevolent monotheistic entity ruling over everything, yet punishing for disobedience and unbelief. The spaceman in the sky gets the credit for all good, and none of the blame for bad. Conservative theocrats want to put you to death for an abortion because they believe God is pleased with executing his righteous indignation. This is why the Church denies you the truth about our true creators in Genesis 1 and 6 (and the removed book of Enoch). “Let US make man in our OWN image” are a group of malevolent creators who combined their DNA with upright apes to create a slave planet. “And the Sons of God saw that the daughters of men were beautiful, and lay with them, creating giants, men of renown.” Humans were made “a little lower than the angels.” Sumerian man was 99.9% primate DNA but now given the Mind of God. MIND is intelligence, intuition, imagination and volition…everything you need to be a branch of I AM Creator. Yet our Evangelical taskmasters demand obedience to their punisher god of the sky, gilded with a layer of conditional love.

Both Church and Science Establishment scoff at the idea of MIND being Prime Creator, and instead defend humanity’s powerlessness because they can’t make a planet appear out of nothing, or become a fire-breathing dragon at will. Can you get out of bed in the morning? You’re Creator. Can you do your duties at work? You’re a Creator, at least in a small sense. The Church agrees that man was gifted with superior intelligence compared to the apes. In less than 60 years after discovering double-helix DNA, Humanity can now create custom designer babies with CRISPR DNA editing software. Cystic fibrosis? Delete the code. Cancer? Delete some combination of TAGC. Recode mosquitos to be sterile and eradicate themselves. Humans are quickly becoming like the Creator gods of Genesis.  Humanity will continue to ascend into the awareness and practice of Prime Creator Consciousness, and someday we will harness unlimited zero point energy, antigravity, anti-matter and the quantum. We will travel to primitive planets and seed them with life, just as earth was. 

Church orthodoxy says Jesus is God because he performed miracles. Miracles seem to break the laws of nature, yet it is simply shifting awareness to a parallel existence where they are not diseased or dead, and it becomes so. “Believe that you already have what you ask, and it will be so.” Christ told his disciples, “Greater works will you do!” and they did. They realized they were novice human Creators who could inhabit a parallel reality that already exists. Christ “thought it not robbery to be EQUAL with God” and so did the disciples who performed miracles. Then why would Jesus stop at the disciples but not want us all to do great miracles? Or to simply believe that one can shift to a parallel potentiality that you prefer? Jesus didn’t want to be worshipped he wanted to be emulated. 

I AM is the vine, we are all the branches of I AM. “Is it not written: ‘Ye are gods?’” Don’t let pastors and popes steal your creator inheritance from you any longer. It is your birthright!

The Solution to Abortion is Free and Abundant Contraception

and Sex Education

If you want to still believe that abortion is murder, fine. But please consider that the most effective solution is to block conception from happening in the first place.  If we had free, abundant, no questions asked contraceptives and thorough sex education, unwanted pregnancies could be largely eliminated. Why then, would Church politicians be actively trying to make contraceptives illegal? Because they want to ban “recreational sex.” Ah, there it is, the core of the abortion debate is the sex that started it. They want consequences to extra-marital sex, to where at least you’ll be forced to be a parent as punishment. That means it’s ultimately not about saving babies, it’s forcing an Old Testament punisher god with 1800s puritanical Victorianism upon America. Physical intimacy is a human right, yet religious governments want to invade your privacy and regulate your bedroom. 

Growing up in Christian school and fundamentalist church there was zero sex education. My pastor said, “We believe it should be discussed in the home, not at school.” But parents are too embarrassed to even bring it up much less go into necessary details. We had endless “male only/female only” chapels droning on about abstinence and purity. We had separate buses for girls and boys. The more you suppress, the more God will bless. The Church as a whole views sex as inherently dirty and sinful, UNLESS you get a permission slip from the Feds and a promise to live happily ever after like some Disney movie. Marriage is an antiquated relic of primitive society designed by our fallen Genesis creators to help their slaves evolve, and prevent de-evolution back into animalia. Today, a couple can commit to quality of time instead of quantity of time. But this is not good enough for our Church overlords. If you’re going to have premarital sex you better produce a child out of that sinful act. They want to punish your promiscuity as long as they get something out of it. 

We who have the Christ Consciousness know that sex is the sacred foundation of the Universe. The ONE splits into opposites: masculine straight 1 = feminine curve 0. It forms the ON/OFF fractal foundation of our universe. Look at the Pillars of Creation nebulae and you’ll see a phallus. Look at an ancient river of water carving out the rocks and you’ll see a vagina. The Church removed the Divine Feminine from the Godhead to justify its murderous rampage of fear, control, and domination. It’s amazing to me how many of my classmates and collegemates “try” to stay a virgin until married but failed. But then promise God a “second virginity.” 

Laughably above all, we have the most sexually corrupt president here to enforce Biblical morality upon the rest of the nation. I was told: “Trump’s sex life is between he and God.” Really? Where was that leniency when I was growing up?! Teens in the youth group who “fail” have to confess and ask forgiveness in front of the whole congregation! Yet Trump said he never asks forgiveness and outright denies being a Christian. If the president’s sex life is between they and God, why can’t all Americans have that same right?

Ironically, Christians who have gotten abortions believe that a merciful God forgives them and understands their situation. Everyone else gets prison or even the death penalty. Is only one religion entitled to asking forgiveness for abortion? If you’re a member of the Christian Country Club, you have a get out of jail free card. We see these anti-gay pastors and youth pastors put on trial for blatant pedophilia, and the judge gives them 90 days community service “because he’s a good man of God that serves his community, it was just a moment of indiscretion.” 

The new Supreme Court overruled that abortion “should be left to the states.” They knew full well that red state constitutions do not allow ballot initiatives = residents vote on the laws to rule them. “Leaving it to the states” means red supermajority legislatures will make parents criminal enemies of the state for using Plan B. Our Church Politicians relish in the joy of executing divine punishment upon the heathen. If we’re truly leaving it to the states, why not zoom in and let each county decide, like liquor licenses? Zoom in more and let each town decide. Why not make ballot initiatives a federal right so each and every citizen can actually vote on the issue? Because religious leaders know 65% of America will vote for reproductive autonomy. Better yet…why not allow parents and doctors and those WHO ARE INVOLVED make their own family planning decisions? If you don’t want an abortion, don’t get one. If you want to risk your Trisomy-18 fetus killing you, go right ahead.

We are expected to believe that women love getting abortions for the fun of it, that doctors love cranking out abortions and selling body parts as lucrative business, and women need to be deprived of “recreational intercourse.” I grew up with these hellfire and brimstone fundamentalist Baptist pastors and preachers who love to condemn and get the altar filled with crying prodigals for another notch on their belt. Like all Abrahamic religions, they believe their dominator god “of love” is rewarding them for punishing evildoers. Do not be intimidated by their power grab to turn America into Taliban rule. They call themselves Christians yet deny America the freedom and non-judgment that Christ exemplified. Jesus is just the whipping boy so you can spend eternity worshiping a psychopathic creator who punishes if you don’t love him back.

“These were more noble than those in Thessalonica…because they 

searched the scriptures daily to see whether these things were true.” 

Acts 17:11

Scripture tells us to question scripture. YOU are more noble when you question authority, orthodoxy and intermediaries. I searched scriptures and science to see if abortion is murder and found no irrefutable, unequivocal proof…only principles and preference. Yet here we are, with a Presidential candidate who has paid for multiple abortions acting as pawn to punish us with scripture that doesn’t exist.

Women, these writings are for you first and foremost. You can breathe a sign of relief if you suffer from guilt and shame for terminating an unwanted pregnancy. You can forgive yourself now. 

I understand change is hard, dear brothers and sisters in Christ. The one thing that never changes is that everything changes. We cannot put the new wine of 2024 into the old wineskins of 3000 BC. I know you want to dig your heels in and try to stop the earth from turning. I was taught to do the same. But when you are crucified with Christ, the old is passed away. Behold, all things are become new.

“All of the law, all of the prophets are fulfilled in this one new law I give to you…that you love one another.” 

That’s the America I want to live in.

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We hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Paul Steven Lyke’s upcoming book, 

“Loving Christ, Hating Christianity: Healing from the Lies of the Church that Keep You in Fear and Disempowerment.” 

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